By Brian Holland
As runners we are always asking about each other’s injuries, and listening to the many ways in which we can inflict pain on ourselves, while hoping we will not experience our friend’s particular pain.
What we are not too good at is listening when people try to talk about non-running injuries, crises at home, work, anxiety, depression, addiction, and although they are not running specific issues, they are something we can help with. People generally are not great about being open about these things, and most people feel out of their depth if someone talks about their mental health.
From personal experience I can say that while running, it is a great time to not only open up, but to listen. I am not making eye contact because I am looking at my feet or the view. There are natural breaks in the conversation, stiles, road crossing, hills that make breathing difficult let alone talking. As you possibly know I had an accident on my bike and got concussion, causing fatigue, depression and a permanent head ache, which lasted for many months, one of the great things I found that helped was the covid rule that said you can run with one other person, so I arranged to run with many people, just the two of us. I can’t tell you how beneficial it was for me to talk, but it was great to listen, I heard of other people troubles, past difficulties and how they coped, all those runs were special for one reason or another.
Well the concussion has healed, but I still find time to talk, there a few friends out there who I am completely at ease with, and there are other people who I will gladly find time for a run with if asked.
The main lesson I have learnt is that talking does not need a trained counsellor, it needs an ear that is prepared to listen, maybe not understand, but not judge either.
I am unaware of any specific running groups, but there are outdoor groups, Mountains of the Mind is the biggest that I found on Facebook. There is also ‘Fancy a Walk Mate’ on Facebook which does walks in the Peak District. Plus there are groups like ‘Andy’s Man Club’ which has physical groups in Macclesfield, or Mentell which moved to online groups during lock down and just continued as it means you can do it privately at home. Sorry to say being male I have looked for male groups, I am sure there will be support for women out there, as well as non gender groups like Mountains of the Mind.
Most people as you read this will be fine, a small number will not be and could do with a mate to unload on. Think of it as a privilege to be unloaded on, not a burden. And in the extreme, it does not matter if it is the wrong place, the wrong time, the wrong anything, if you think someone is on the edge there is never a good time. Swallow your social etiquette and ask ‘are you ok? It might save a life.